it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
