Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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