obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize