are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
