How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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