dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
