hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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