Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
