Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
