Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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