U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
