Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
