he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
