I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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