69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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