yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
this is an emotional support booty call
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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