Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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