are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
