Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
