the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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