do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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