i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize