Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
false alarm, still single
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