ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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