I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
