those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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