Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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