Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
