OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
