I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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