Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
