so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The Olympian is in my bed
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