Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
