and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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