i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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