My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
