I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
