Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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