Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wrigley field is MILF paradise
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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