I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
