I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
