Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
"it" just moved
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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