You're so nebulous sometimes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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