So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
