Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
