Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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