just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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