So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
