Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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