as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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