The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
