Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

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(817): View more from Texas

I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out

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(516): View more from New York

do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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(806): View more from Texas

Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.

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