Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize