Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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