Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
