somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
