dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
