# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
