well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
