Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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