Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
