Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
