i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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