Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
